Robin Williams is a very funny man. For 90 minutes last night at Rod Laver Arena in Melbourne he had most of the crowd in stitches from start to finish with his ‘Weapons of Self Destruction’ show.
I say “most” because judging from the calls to talk-back radio morning, obviously some people turned up expecting to see Mork from Ork.
Williams left no holes barred (literally in some topics) as he covered politics, to religion, to health, to sex, to the economy and a bit about Australian animals during his rapid fire show.
He recounted an interview in Germany once where he was asked “why do you think there is not much comedy in Germany?” and he answered “Did you ever think you might have killed all the funny people?”
“I flew in Qantas. We landed with all four engines,” he at the start of the show. Talking about Australian animals he pointed out that “female kangaroos have three vaginas” and did a hilarious bit about how hard it must be for the male kangaroo to please them. About Koala’s persistent stoned state “they are like little furry Lindsay Lohans”.
On American animals, “a pug looks like a barking vagina” and do “cats mindfuck dogs”.
Politics was a popular topic. He talked about how the right tries to paint Obama as “a closet Muslim”. “How do you pull that off,” he said. About George W. Bush, “W is now a motivational speaker. That is like Lindsay Lohan becoming a guidance counsellor”. And about the construction of a George W. Bush library “Will it be full of his wisdom like ‘most of our imports come from overseas’.” He compared the relationship between Bush and Tony Blair as being like Rainman but praised the French President. “The French have a President whose wife fucked Mick Jagger.”
He talked about his heart surgery and having to take Propofil, the drug that killed Michael Jackson. “Michael Jackson used it to go to sleep. That is like having chemotherapy instead of shaving your head”.
Williams talked openly about his drug taking and alcoholism. “Alcoholics go ‘poor me, poor me, pour me’” and how drunks have the worst pick-up lines like “were your parents retarded because you sure are special” or “sit on my face and let me guess your weight”.
The Catholic Church copped it. “They oppose homosexuality but have a Pope who dresses like Freddie Mercury”.
You need to see the show to hear his bit about how the penis and vagina were designed. Hilarious!
About porn movies, “why do they make 90 minute movies? Who watches the whole thing?”. He questioned what goes into writing a porn script and if there were any Shakespearean porn actors. Williams said he has seen a few of his movies parodied in porn – ‘Good Will Humping’ and ‘Snatch Adams’ and said “if Christopher Walken made a porn movie then I would watch”.
He talked about cars suggesting there should be a Ford Fellatio or that Bob Dylan should voice a GPS. And there was the funny bit about why there are no Hybrid NASCAR races. (well, think about it).
I’m amazed people actually came to this show expecting to hear G rated jokes. Williams is rude, crude and hilarious and that is the only way I would have expected it.
Remaining dates are:
November 8 and 9, Melbourne, Rod Laver Arena
November 11, 12, 14, 16, Sydney, Entertainment Centre
November 19, Christchurch, Canterbury Arena
November 20, Auckland, Vector Arena
