Britney Spears played the House of Blues tonight. Why?
Let's for a moment suggest that the whole event was a practical joke. I can live with that. Very funny Britney, we were all sucked in. Good one.But then again, maybe it wasn't. Could she have possibly been serious?
Britney was on stage lip-syncing to 5 songs in under 15 minutes. Then she was gone. It was a complete publicity stunt.
I heard that some poor bastard even paid $250 for a ticket on e-Bay. That's $50 a song to watch someone lip-synch? Man, that guy should do the talk show rounds as 'The Biggest Loser'.
This circus was a complete set-up for the media. I don't know what she wanted to achieve but she sure got the media hanging outside in droves. If it was all about the publicity why were her goons evicting die-hard fans from the show who wanted a souvenir picture on their phone? But of course, the die-hard fans can't possibly generate any press for her.
Now, this was at the House of Blues on Sunset Boulevard right in the heart of West Hollywood. When stars play the HOB they normally leave by the side door. Britney walked right out the front door still in her stage clothes in front of all the cameras. Oh yeah right, like this wasn't a "look at me" exercise. "Don't take my picture" followed by pose.
I've got to admit. I do admire Britney on some levels as a person. She's had a tough time lately. To her credit, she is probably the closest thing we have today to a renegade star. Where are the rebels of the 21st Century, by the way? You don't get that in Good Charlotte, Avril or P!nk (and what that ! up her ... nevermind).
Britney did represent an element of old school in her recent rebellious times. Let's be honest, is the music industry so fucked that the two most dangerous stars on the planet are Britney Spears and Paris Hilton? God help us all.
Look, there were some entertaining moments in the show. For example, the song before she came on was Slade's 'Cum On Feel The Noize' and the song after she walked off was The Eagles 'One Of These Nights'. It was the bit in between that was a waste of space.
Oh and she did tear her stocking and have to go off after the third song. How's that for professionalism? No-one anywhere in the world today can say "Britney Spears has ever put her audience before her stockings". I've always maintained the priorities for any celebrity should be 1. Stockings 2. Publicity 3. Publicity 4. Publicity 5. Stocking and 6. Audience. Britney got that bit right.
So 13 minutes on stage. Andy Warhol said everyone was entitled to 15 minutes of fame. Britney WE OWE YOU TWO MINUTES.
For those of you who couldn't make the gig, please pull out your Britney 'Greatest Hits' album and playlist your iPod with 1. Baby One More Time 2. Slave 3. Breathe On Me 4. Do Something 5. Toxic. It will be exactly the same vocal so just like our friend "the silly bastard with the $250 ticket" you're getting the same thing.
So how was her hair you ask? I can honestly say it was glued on real well.
Now Britney, do the world a favor. Go have more kids. That you do well. But please, stay away from concert stages. It's just embarrassing.
